So Grateful For My Mom
I am incredibly fortunate to be born into this world to my mom. I would not be the person I am today without her. She has instilled great values into me and shown me what it truly means to love someone.
Growing up my mother always put her kids before her self. She wanted to give my bother and I a better life than she had. She sacrificed her own comfort and food off of her plate to make sure it happened. Even though she may not have agreed with many of my aspirations in life, she always supported me.
During high school, we went through some rough times together. She got separated when I was 14 years old and had pretty nasty divorce. My mom is from Brazil. She had troubles finding conventional ways of making money but she has been a business person at heart. She always worked hard and made sure I had everything I needed.
My mom even made the time for me to explore different avenues in life. When I was first starting out high school, I was super interested in modeling. I got accepted into Barbizon modeling agency. Sure, she and many other people had their opinions about whether or not I should be modeling. But she supported my dreams anyway. Drove me to Raleigh almost every week which a was a couple hour drive each way. Even though, my modeling career never really made it anywhere. It turned out to be a great finishing school where I learned how to be a lady, how to walk right, do my makeup while gaining quite a bit of much needed self-confidence.
Fast Track to College
My mom also made the time for me to fast track my way through school. I graduated high-school when I was 16 years old with 21 college credit hours. This would have never been possible without her support. Until I got my restricted license at 16, she made sure I went to my extra summer school classes and my college night school classes.
Even though, my mom did so many things for me and was an amazing mom. We shared many differences in beliefs. Part of me for a long time was scared to truly be myself around my family. Self-confidence has been something I have been challenged with through out my life. I felt like I would be rejected by her if she really new the truth about me. So, when I moved out when I was 16 and began exploring this world. Even though we were still close, our relationship was still limited where she did not really know me. I would go out and do things she probably would not approve of. Many times, she would call and I would not answer because of it.
A few months after moving out of my mom’s house, I remember feeling guilty about leaving her behind. I remember one night sitting outside of my dorms crying because of the inner-conflict but I knew that if I ever wanted a better life for us, I had to focus on my future. Whether or not, I made the right decision, it was how I felt.
We did not have much. Things only got progressively worse over the years. However, without question, if I ever needed money for anything, she always gave it to me. At the time, I never really realized how much added stress I gave her because of this. I should have been more mindful of how I spent my money. There she was sacrificing her wants and desire for me. I never really admitted to anyone in my life how much she really did for me because I wanted to feel like I could do it on my own. But really, I needed help and still do.
It was not until, I had my own personal health crisis and moved back home many years later, that I began to realize the importance of my family. This also includes my brother and dad, but this post is not a shout out to them or that experience. My focus shifted towards my roots and foundation. A house built on sand will not stand. At the time, the foundation of my life was terrible. I had been so focused on getting into medical school. I neglected my health and my family. During that time, I lost most all of my friends but my family stood behind me. I would not have made it through those challenging times if it was not for my mom. She did not have much but that did not matter. She took me in and gave me enough so I could build a new life on a strong foundation. If you’d like to hear about that experience, check out this blog post, blue-skin.
The point, I am trying to make here, is things in my life began to change once I began focusing on my health, being authentic especially with my family, and letting go to what should, could, or would be. Having a strong foundation in my family, has given me a strong foundation to build my life on. Any resentments have been left in the past. We are all human doing the best that we can. Now, we have a stronger connection than I ever would have thought possible. My mom really is my best friend. Hopefully, I can impress on you to be authentic with your family. There is nothing like the connection you share with your family.
Decision to Move to Arizona
First we had the experience with letting go of our “old house” like I mentioned in the other blog post, blue skin. Since she has moved here to Arizona. I could not be more grateful to have her in my life. Before she moved out here, I have to say I was conflicted. I really did not know what was going to happen and I was taking on a huge responsibility. If anything went wrong, even though she did not have much. I was the one taking the risk and would feel responsible. However, I knew in the bottom of my heart this was the right decision and the right time to do it. Fortunately, everything has turned out marvelously. In order to move forward, you have to let go of the past, make space for the future, and be bold.
Other People’s Perception
Part of the issue I had with her moving here was perception of other people. What would other people think about me living with my mom and what I would miss out on because of it. Would people not want to be my friend? People’s perception of me has been one of my biggest challenges to overcome. I came to realize. I only have the here and now. The future is not promised. My mom is the most important person in the world to me. How could I leave her in a situation like that? If I wait until I become a doctor and have enough money to buy her a house, she will have already lived her best years. And really, the future is never promised. I have always wanted to give back for all the wonderful things she has done for me. Now, I know I do not want friends or a relationship that does not value my relationship with my mother. She is apart of who I am and what makes me the person I am. I do not want to do things without her.
So what do we do? We share! I share my resources and abilities with her and she shares hers with me. We don’t have a glamorous life but man, our life together is better than I could have ever Imagined it could be. I know my life here would be ok without her but my life is absolutely amazing with her. I love having her company. She brings a level of peace into my life.
Sharing Naturopathic Medicine
My mom has been my guinea pig in a sense. She has welcomed my healthy lifestyle experiments and goes on little adventures with me from time to time. I am so incredibly proud of the progress she has made in her health. At times, she is even better than me and helps keep me going in the choices I want to make.
Like a few years ago, we did a two week only juice as a detox diet. I did track this experience candidly on here everyday. Here, is the first post of that series.
Sometimes I forget, how much she has really changed her diet. Before, she use to love her whole milk. When I use to ascribe to a different thought as a nutritionist, I advocated for the 2% or less milk campaign. We slowly worked from whole milk down to skim. Now, she does not even drink milk or have her daily donuts along with many other dietary changes that you will eventually read about.
Behind the Scenes
Everyday I wake up. I feels so grateful for all that she does for me. She makes my life as a medical student so much easier. I do not have to worry about managing the everyday things like cooking and cleaning. When I come home, I am not alone and the anxiousness I use to feel is not there. When I have time for a break, we go out and do something fun together or maybe we stay in watch a movie or play cards. When I do volunteer projects or am working on my random businesses. She always is there to help me. I have a companion to tag team the challenges in life. I could not ask for more.
Together, we work on our plans to make a better future. The future is bright! Together we will go far!
Thanks mom for being you! Thanks mom for helping me being a better person! Thanks mom for loving me for who I am! Thanks mom for being here with me!
She is, The Fred to my Barney! =)
My Challenge to You: Share something you normally wouldn’t with someone close to you or in your family.